Blue Caravan
by The Lady Morana
Summary: After the war ends, the exorcists go their separate ways. Even if they do so with heavy hearts. Slash. LaviYu. Posted for LaviYu day.
1. Chapter 1

HAPPY LAVIYU DAY!

Blue Caravan

It was a dreary overcast morning, but given that it was mid-October in England it was just good luck that it wasn't raining. Kanda Yu sat in an empty room that wasn't his. He wasn't brooding, or sulking, or engaging in any other un-Kanda like behaviors. The only reason that he wasn't in his own room was because he'd wanted to see what the weather was like and his own stain glass window prevented that. It wasn't because the room hadn't been visited by the cleaning staff and still held an indefinable yet familiar scent. It wasn't because he had hoped that it wouldn't be abandoned yet. It wasn't because from the vantage point of this window he could see a tuff of bright red hair sticking up from a drab traveling cloak as two figures walk into the impending storm.

With a disapproving noise Kanda Yu turned away from the window before the figure had disappeared from sight. He had his own finial journey to prepare for.

---

"_I'm leaving tomorrow." Kanda glowered at the fool who had dared disturb his mediation and turned away from the door. _

"_Why are you telling me? Go find Lenalee, she'll give a damn." He snapped and stabbed ruthlessly at his clenching heart. _

"_Yu-chan! Anyone else would think you didn't love me!" The fool entered the room and threw his arms around Kanda's neck. _

"_Imagine that. Seriously you idiot rabbit, I don't have time for this, go bug __Moyashi. He'll be sad that you're leaving." Kanda snapped trying to break the death grip that enclosed his body. _

"_Yu." The voice wasn't whiny anymore, the tone shocked Kanda enough to pay attention, "Yu, I can't tell them. I'm not even supposed to tell you. I'm leaving tomorrow, for good, as in not coming back." _

"_Well of course you're not coming back. No one is." Lavi snarled and spun Kanda to face him._

"_Don't you understand?! Once I leave even if we meet again I won't be Lavi! I won't be allowed to know you!" The other boy's voice had been steadily rising till he was yelling and then suddenly he broke off and added in a whisper, "I won't be able to love you." _

"_Tch." Was Kanda's only reply and Lavi sank to his knees in front of Kanda and pressed his face to Kanda's shoulder._

"_Please Yu; love me just one more night. Let me love you one last time._

---

It was raining now as it had been threatening to do as they left Order. It darkened the vibrant hair of the boy who had been Lavi and plastered it to his face.

"Keep up Boy." The old man in front of him snapped.

"Yes Master." He murmured. He picked up his trudging pace, but knew he was still walking too slowly for the Bookman's tastes.

"Boy you will abandon all those attachments you formed with the last record now or you will leave me. Our order demands perfection." For a brief moment the boy considered it. Yu wouldn't have left yet, he hated the rain. It was his desire to be with Yu again that made up his mind.

"I abandoned them when I followed you from the Black Order."

---

_He kissed Yu fiercely, pressing the boy's narrow frame into the mats beneath them. The passion with which Yu returned the kiss belied his previous coldness. He pulled back panting slightly._

"_Yu ask me to stay. If _you_ ask me I won't stop being Lavi." Whatever he'd been expecting, it had been for Yu to strike him. His ears were still ringing as he caught Yu wrists to keep the hot tempted man from hitting him again. _

"_Yu-chan why'd ya hit me?" He whimpered. The man beneath him yanked one arm free and smacked Lavi again. The blow was softer and fell about his shoulders. _

"_Do you think I'd even want to _look_ at you if you did that?" A third smack, "You stupid, stupid, idiot rabbit." Lavi opened his flinching eyes to look at Yu's face. It was contorted with anger, frustration, and something that Lavi had no name for but it reminded him of love. _

"_You will do your God damn duty. You will follow that annoying old master of yours and you will not leave him!" The words were too haughty and proud to be spoken from the floor of a training room, but Yu somehow managed. Lavi hung his head and his hair covered his eyes. _

"_I'm half a failure already. He might cast me off." Yu raised his hand and Lavi flinched slightly, half-expecting to be smacked again. But the hand just gently traced his face before tangling in his hair. _

"_If he comes to his sense and sends you away because you're an idiot then, where ever I am, I'll be waiting for you." The hand tugged his head down and their lips met. _

---

"I am leaving." Kanda announced. He was caring the entirety of his earthly possessions: Mugen, the clothing he was wearing, a hair tie, and that damn rabbit's headband. Moyashi and Lenalee looked at him with large eyes. The white haired brat appeared even shocked enough to pause in the consumption of his third breakfast.

"But Kanda it's raining." Lenalee implored, as if this could make him stay.

"It's always raining in this godforsaken place." He could feel her prying eyes fall on the bright green headband draped around his neck, but refused to acknowledge her curiosity.

"Where will you go?" She whispered.

"Back to Japan." Kanda replied and Moyashi scoffed at him.

"Japan? Last time I was there it was looking pretty flat."

"Just because you have no home to return to doesn't mean the rest of us are so unfortunate." Allen looked stricken and glared at Kanda. He opened his mouth to say something nasty back but Lenalee cut him off.

"You're going to Kyoto." It wasn't a question and he nodded.

"Do think that person will be there?" He shrugged and she sighed.

"Brother and I are going back to our home in China. Bak Chan at the Asian Branch knows where that is, he won't be leaving something about being linked to the place. Anyway let me know where you go after Kyoto, just in case old friends want to contact you." Again she eyed the headband. Kanda nodded and left the Order that he had belong to for the last eleven years.

---

_Kanda watched Lavi sleep beside him. He reached out his hands and carded them through the bright red hair. He traced Lavi's jaw and his swollen lips. Had anyone walked in he would have gladly removed the sight of him being so uncharacteristically tender by gorging out their eyes with Mugen, but no one disturbed them. _

_He listened carefully to Lavi's breathing and gently felt his pulse to ensure the other is truly asleep, before brushing his lips softly against the redhead's slightly parted ones. _

"_Don't go." He whispered._

"_Don't go."_

"_Don't go."_

"…_.I love you." But Lavi remained asleep and didn't respond. _

---

The nameless boy's hair fell down his face, irritating him to no end. And yet he smiled privately every time he brushed the hair from his eyes.

"Boy it's time to pick a new name." The redhead looked up. "We are starting a new record in Korea." The boy didn't dare tell his master that he wanted no name but Lavi, so after a moment's consideration he answered.

"Cain." His master nodded, but didn't say anything. Without anymore conversation they began their trek to the other side of the world. Cain smiled as he pushed his hair out of his face; it was his only memento of pervious life.

---

_Yu appeared to still be asleep when Lavi rose to leave. He wanted to wake the man, but fear that his resolve would shatter the moment Yu opened his eyes forced him to let Yu sleep. Instead he simply reached out and brushed aside the soft fringe. He pressed his lips to the sleeping brow before standing. He was almost to the door when, on the spur of the moment, he re-crossed the room removing his bright green headband as he went. Carefully he pulled it down around the sleeping Yu's neck. His fingers traced the other boy's lips one last time._

"_Remember to wait for me." And then Lavi was gone. _


	2. Chapter 2

NOTE: I have, for the sake of this story and with the help of the Earl, murdered history. Did events _like _the ones in this story happen? Some of them…maybe…if you tilt your head at a funny angle. My Asian history, well any history, is as weak as un-steeped tea and not near as hot. So forgive me for destroying the historical foundation for the modern political culture.

---

The coach jolted and for the 21st time in the last 59 minutes Lavi, no he was Cain now, jolted forward and nearly lost his seating. His tinny master sat with unflappable poise, shifting and swaying as though he were affixed to the hard seat.

"This is why I like trains." He muttered as he flicked his hair back out his eyes. A new tick for a new persona. He was jolted forward again, not enough to unseat him again, but enough to knock his hair in front of his face again. This time he left it. Perhaps he'd let it grow out so he could tie it back with one of the those satin ribbons he could never get Yu to use.

Outwardly he remained unperturbed, but inwardly he had frozen. Yu was one of the things he wasn't allowed the luxury of thinking while under his master's watchful gaze. So he turned his thoughts from Yu only to run headlong into other memories he shouldn't have.

---

_The night was warm and light breeze tumbled through the open window and the boy could smell the clover the wind had been rolling in. He turned his head sharply as his door opened._

"_Mac come here." The boy's eyes lit up._

"_Máthair!" Her eyes edged themselves with panic and she held a finger sharply against her lips. He clasped his small hands over his smiling lips in response. She beckoned to the boy who came quickly to her side. She grabbed his tiny hand and silently they moved through the old building. Every time he followed her through the dark maze of this building he felt like a hero in one of those lullabies she wasn't suppose to sing him. _

_When they stepped out on the roof he immediately looked up to the stars. His masters had taught him the science of the stars, all the complex math and boring physics, but the woman that stood beside had taught him their stories. _

"_Look to Perseus." The boy watched and at first didn't see anything, but just when he opened his mouth to complain he saw a star fall. He gasped and the woman beside him smiled._

"_The tears of Saint Lawrence." She said softly. He turned to look at her. _

"_Mac the stars were falling like this on your birthday." He turned to her confused as to why she was telling him this. "The stars don't fall for every boy. You weren't meant to record other people's history, you were meant to _make_ your own. Remember that when you met your Bookman tomorrow." _

---

Though Kanda could hardly admit it to himself, he missed Moyashi. Well technically he missed the connivance of traveling across the world by strolling through a clean Mediterranean city, but at this point it was all the same. He was stuck waiting in some horrid city on the banks of the Red Sea for a ship headed East.

It was terribly boring, and he'd grown use to traveling with someone ever since Lavi had found away to glue himself to Kanda's side. He sighed, it didn't matter, he seriously doubted he would ever see the red head again. He wished he had a larger collection of memories to brood over. His memories of the Order were largely unpleasant, annoying, or containing Lavi and many times a combination of the three. His memories from the before the order were cut into little pieces, a result of the second exorcist project, and therefore he had only a handful of memories of his childhood. Not many of those where happy either. Most were about _that_ person, only few where about other people, namely his father.

---

_The boy knelt before his father and tried not to shift under the man's prying grazing. _

"_Your hair is short. Are an Emperor's man?" The little boy's eyes widen his horror at the thought._

"_No! I'm like you father, I'm going to be a Samurai!"_

"_Yet you cut your hair like a Westerner?" The man's voice was full of skepticism._

"_Nao…Nao cut my hair while I was asleep and then mother made me even it out."Had the boy been looking at his father's face he would have seen the fleeting laughter there. _

"_A warrior does not allow people to sneak up on him. When you can remember that, grow you hair back out." _

"_Yes father!" The boy cried a little too exuberantly. The man smiled before replacing the soft look with something much more serious._

"_I did not call you here to discuss the state of your hair." He paused for a moment and he could tell the boy was one step away from shaking with anticipation. "I called you here to see if you are ready to be a man." That gave the boy a pause._

"_Why father?" _

"_Because there's going to be a battle. I won't be coming back." The boy's eyes widen and his face flew up instead of remaining respectfully downturned. _

"_What? You always come back! Nothing can kill you! You can heal from anything! What about that time that horse kicked your head? What about that time you got shot? What about—" The man held up a hand silencing his son._

"_I am going to die." The boy was trembling now. _

"_Why father?" _

"_Because I am cursed, and so are you." The man could see fear in his son's pale face. "Do you remember when you feel from the tree? You the way you landed you broke back, but it's not broken. What have you seen anything since then?" The boy froze._

"_Mother said not to talk about it." _

"_I am telling you to." The boy murmured something and his father looked unimpressed till he repeated himself louder._

"_A lotus petal." The man nodded._

"_Our family is cursed, or perhaps blessed, depending on how you view it. Every time you get hurt you'll see more flower petals, more flowers, until one day you see nothing but flowers." _

"_Is that all you see father?"_

"_No. I can't see any flowers at all. It's one last gift from the curse; it means the next death will be your last."_

---

In all 50 Cain's aliases he had never believed in God. Not even in the last one when he'd worked for the Catholic Church. But now he certainly believed in a vengeful something. There was simply no other way to explain the figure that stood with their back to them on the edge of the dock, their hair long and dark.

Bookman must have noticed the slight lag in his step, but for once he remained blessedly silent. He wanted to run forward, to spin the person around, because it had to be Yu. No one else on earth could look so arrogantly beautiful, even from behind, without trying. Seeming of its own volition his hand lifted from his side and his step quickened. But abruptly he stopped, the feeling of Yu's hand stinging his ears along with the man's harsh reprimand coming to his mind. As much as he might wish it otherwise Bookman had not sent him away and he was still Cain not Lavi.

Coming fully under control he moved to stand silently and obediently behind the old man, exactly as Cain was expected to. Bookman seemed to pause and take him into consideration before nodding.

"Well done boy." With those words the figure turned, but it was not the face he'd been expecting. She was a haughty European beauty. As she swept past Cain caught the quick distinctive quirk of her wrist. So she was a member of the Bookman.

Then Lavi realized what had happened. It had been a test. He'd missed his chance to fail, his chance to be set free to find his Yu. For the second time in his life he'd love someone, and for the second time he'd chosen the Bookman over his precious person.

---

_When his new Bookman had asked him who it was that had been filling his head with emotions he hadn't wanted to betray __Máthair, but he'd been so terrified that the creepy old man already knew. Now as he stood before her in the large hall he wished he'd lied to the Bookman. There were plenty of his teachers and caregivers that could have taught those old stories written in the stars or sang him forbidden lullabies about dead heroes of ancient wars. But he'd told the truth and now she stood restrained in front of him._

"_Mac." She whispered, and he could see people across the hall avert their eyes so as not be dirtied by the raw emotion in the woman's voice. There was sorrow, pain, grief, but no matter how hard he tired the boy couldn't find blame or angry. _

"_Mac, my __réalta, you were meant to _live_." She did not cry out as they jerked her back. _

"_Number 32" The boy looked up at the hooded man who had spoken, "This woman is accused of teaching you emotions and untrue histories. Is this the woman who taught you those things?" The boy looked at the woman in front of him. She was awash in emotions, pride and sorrow fought in the green eyes that matched his perfectly and her beautiful red hair was like wild red flames in its disorder. _

"_M__áthair." He whispered. Her eyes widen momentarily in, and a side smile crossed her face, but she didn't answer._

"_Answer the question, boy." His scary Bookman snapped._

"_Yes she is the one." The woman fell slack and for a moment the men holding her loosened their hold on her. In that moment she broke free and placed her hands across the boy's brow. _

"_May love and laughter light your days, and warm your heart, my star child, my son." With that she was seized and brought to kneel before the hooded man._

"_You who gave up your name to become member of the Bookman are guiltily of working against our cause. You will be removed from the records. You are naught but ink."_

---

Returning to the old capital city of Kyoto should have felt like a homecoming to Kanda, but it didn't. He didn't let himself dwell on the reason. Instead he focused only on his purpose for coming back to this city.

Kanda supposed a good son would try to find his family first after long years of absence, but then a good son would have written home at least once in eleven years. Surreptitiously he checked that Mugen was still hanging down his back, he'd need it when he found that person. In annoyance he glowered at the lotus flowers that obscured his sight, and wished he hadn't died so many times.

---

_Kanda Yu had been sent to bed two hours ago, but he hadn't gone. Instead he had gone to hide in the entry way and wait for his father. Now he wished to be back in his bed, even if Nao did kick. Anything would be better then standing here watching his mother embrace a man that wasn't his father. _

_He recognized the man; he was one of the men that supported the emperor, one of the men that should be out trying to kill his father. Anger burned his chest and he grabbed the little knife his father had given him once. _

_He lunged forward but his little knife didn't cut into the man, or even his traitorous mother, but rather the man who chose that moment to stagger through the door. The boy's eyes widened in horror as he recognized his father to be the wounded man. _

_His father turned to see who had stabbed him and suddenly he looked defeated in a way that all the wounds on his body had failed to make him. _

"_So you were an emperor's man." The boy's mouth began to form the word no, but before the sound left his lip a bloody sword protruded from his father chest. _

"_That's for the help Yu, your father would have been hard to kill if you hadn't distracted him." With a shriek of rage the boy lunged forward again only to have the sword that had been run through his father driven through his small body. _

_It hurt worse than anything he'd ever felt, but he could already feel his flesh knitting back together. _

"_It won't work." That was his mother's voice, surely she would save him, "He's a freak like his father, it was a small blessing from the gods that his brother didn't turn out that way." The man sneered down at you. _

"_Well he'll be useful; those Black Order men were in the city again looking for strong young children. I hear they pay a pretty price too."_

_---_

AN: Sorry for the delay. Moving to a different country is a rather time consuming enterprise and finding all of my things when lord only knows what city I've left them in is too.


	3. Chapter 3

The market was crowded and loud and Kanda hated it. An exorcist's fear of humans was still strongly ingrained in him, even with the Earl gone, but he had to start his search somewhere. When the boy had darted him front of him he couldn't believe his luck.

"Nao?" He turned towards him, and Kanda found it exceedingly unfair the younger boy had inherited their father's looks.

"I don't know you." The other boy's voice was soft, and nothing like the annoying whinny thing that it had been.

"Don't lie to me! Where is Mother?" Only now did Nao lift his eyes to truly look at Kanda.

"Yu? No, M-Mother said... Mother said you died." The last part was whispered. Kanda bit back a rude remark about their Mother, he'd have time to be his normal haughty self later, and right now he needed to find that man.

"Won't she be thrilled to learn that she was wrong?" Hesitantly Nao nodded and together they left he market.

"Where have you been?" He murmured.

"Europe." Was Kanda's vague answer, he didn't mention that this wasn't his first trip back to Japan.

"We missed you." Kanda seriously doubt that, "Why didn't you come back?"

"There was a war, and I owed a debt." Nao's face suddenly became sharp.

"You paid it back right? I swear Yu if the only reason you showed up after eleven years of letting us think you were dead is to ask for money I'll…I'll..." The boy seemed unsure what an appropriate threat was.

"Kill me little brother?" Kanda's voice was amused and his brother shot him a weird look.

"Europe changed you." Nao said quietly.

"War changed me." Kanda said coldly, "What changed you?" He was surprised to see his brother flinch.

"You disappeared the same day Father died. You don't know Kurosawa, I always thought he killed you too. The man has no heart."

---

"_Leverrier isn't around, so I see no reason for you to be here." Kanda's voice was cold and_ _Lenalee flinched. _

"_I don't only come here when he's around!" She snapped folding her legs to match Kanda's. _

"_I hadn't noticed." There was silence for a few minutes and then Lenalee started fidgeting. _

"_If you can't sit still go bug Moyashi or Lavi." Lenalee froze and then hung her head._

"_I can't. Allen will laugh and dismiss it and Lavi will just change the subject." She said sadly. For a moment Kanda contemplated just ignoring her. _

"_What?" He said ensuring that he sounded burdened by the idea having to listen to her. _

"_Lavi. Did Allen tell you what happened on the Ark?" _

"_I don't listen to Moyashi." He snapped. She sighed._

"_Yes you do. I'm surprised that he didn't mention to you." He glared at her in response. _

"_Lavi has no heart." Kanda blinked and then gave Lenalee a pointedly annoyed face he normally reserved for Allen._

"_Yes he does." He closed his eyes and concentrated on ignoring her. _

"_You weren't there. He tried to _kill_ Allen, not the way you do, but for real." _

"_So someone else finally found Moyashi annoying and tried to kill him." Kanda's voice was dismissive, but Lenalee could see the boy's perpetual frown deepen slightly. _

"_He said..." She pause and looked worried, "He said we weren't his comrades, _any_ of us, and that we never had been." Kanda just grunted in response but Lenalee could see the worry working it's way into the man's face. _

---

"Lavi." The redhead lifted his head, and Bookman pursed his lips.

"You can't give that record up." It wasn't a question.

"Give me a break Old Man, I'm trying." The man gave him a sharp look.

"We demand perfection, boy, and your perfection has already been questioned once."

"I-" the man held up an aged hand, cutting him off.

"I always worried that, that woman damaged you beyond repair. You might have been fine if I'd been stricter with you during the Black Order record." The old man sighed and shook his head.

"I had three perfect apprentices; I suppose it's only fair that I get one failure." Lavi blinked.

"Old man?" He asked tentatively.

"You will pick a name and be released from the Order."

"Lavi. I want my name to be Lavi." The old man didn't seem surprised by the lack of hesitation.

"Then you will be removed from the records. You are naught but ink." Lavi supposed he ought to feel shame or disappointment, but all he could think of was his Yu.

---

"_What does it mean to be a Bookman?" Lavi looked up to where Yu stood in the doorway dressed in a new, stiff uniform obviously about to leave for a mission._

"_Oh you know, recording new history and copying the old stuff so it doesn't get lost." Yu fixed him with an discerning glare._

"_Is that all it means?" It was Lavi's turn to pay closer attention to the other boy._

"_What do you mean?" Yu face remained flat and not for the first time Lavi thought that if it weren't for his violent temper Yu could have made for an excellent Bookman. _

"_It hardly seems very logical. Having an Order devoted to recording history, particularly a human order, everything would be so subjective." Lavi felt himself go cold._

"_What do you know?" He asked softly and Yu sneered in response. _

"_Does it matter? I simply wished to know what it meant to be a successor to the Bookman, since you claim that's all you are. I don't want to have to trust my life to someone who is not my comrade." He was going to leave just like that and Lavi couldn't allow it._

"_Yu! Don't go." Using Yu's first name normally threw him into comical fits of anger, now however he just looked disgusted._

"_Don't presume so much familiarity with me Bookman Junior." Lavi lunged forward catching Yu's sword arm and hauling him into the room, throwing the door shut behind then. _

"_I'll presume as much familiarity as I like with some I'm f-" Kanda cut him off by jabbing Lavi in the gut with his free hand. _

"_Whatever the nature of our relationship has been, I can assure you that that is no longer the case. I have no desire to have any emotional bounds with someone without a heart." He jerked his arm free and started towards the door, but Lavi wrapped his arms around Yu's waist. _

"_Don't go. I love you." He felt the man stiffen in his arms. _

"_Funny, I was under the impression that a heart was required for that particular emotion." _

"_If I didn't love you, would I be working so hard to keep you here?" Lavi brushed the back of Yu's neck with his lips. _

"_I honestly don't know anymore." And Lavi knew he had a heart, because Yu's words made it ache. _

---

The house looked tired and defeated and the stone wall that separated it from the street looked crumbled. Kanda frowned at the building that had been his childhood home.

"You still live here?" He asked.

"Where else were we supposed to live Yu?" His brother asked and he shrugged.

"Does Kurosawa live here?" He asked his eyes fixed on the dark windows. He almost missed Nao nodding.

They entered the house and as his little brother slipped off his shoes. Nao eyed Kanda's knee high boots, but didn't say anything when the older boy made no motion to remove them.

"Mother?" Nao called out softly. They walked through the dark house till Nao paused in front of a room.

"Mother?" He called again.

"Come in Nao." He slid the door open and stepped through. Kanda followed and was taken aback by how Western the room appeared. His pretty mother looked so out place, despite her proper European clothes. Her eyes widened in horror as they fell on him.

"Hello Mother." She lunged forward with a letter opener and he easily caught her wrist and held her back.

"You're on last lotus?" Her eyes glimmer manically.

"No, but you see dying is unpleasant." He pried the letter opener from her hands and shoved her to the sofa again.

"Nao! What did you do?" She asked rounding on her younger son who was watching with a look of terror on his face.

"I- I " He stuttered.

"Leave him out of it Mother, how was he suppose to know you'd try to kill me again?" He could see his bother mouth 'again' but he ignored him.

"You freak!" She spat. "How dare you come back here? Those men said you wouldn't ever bother us again."

"The Order no longer has us for me, but that's not what I came _home_ to deal with. Where is Kurosawa around?"

"What do you want with him?" She asked. Kanda leered at her in a way that Lavi had once told him made him look like he ate babies.

"He'll kill you." She hissed.

"Didn't he do that once already?" It was then that there was sound from the entry way.

"That's him isn't it?" His mother's face hardened and Nao looked terrified.

"SAYO! That boy is back early again!" A voice hollered from the hall. Nao flinched and their mother glared at him. The door flung open and the man came to loom over Nao.

He didn't notice Kanda at first, but it was impossible to miss the soft whisper of Mugen as it left it sheath and the cold feeling of the bare blade on this neck.

Kurosawa turned and hissed as the sharp blade drew a fine line of blood from his neck.

"You! What are you doing here?" He snarled at Kanda, who glared back at him.

"What do you think I'm doing here? You killed my father and when you couldn't kill me you sold like a farm animal!" Kanda yelled at him and was surprise when his mother answered him.

"Well what did you expect? That we would treat you like you were human? That we would love you? You are a freak! And so was you're father! The only way anybody could love you is if they didn't know what you are!" Her voice was shrill and Kanda flinched back a little.

"Not everyone in the world is a self-serving whore like you!" He didn't turn away from Kurosawa to snap at her so he didn't notice that she had managed to retrieve the letter opener until she lunged at him again. He easily disarmed her, though he had to remove Mugen from Kurosawa neck to do it.

"Will you stop trying to kill me with a letter opener?! You sold me into a _war,_ it's not going to work!" Kanda glowered at the occupants of the room.

"Of course we did, you weren't good for anything else. Though if I'd known you were going to grow up to be so pretty I'd have kept you around so you could work in Shimabara." Kurosawa sneered.

"Don't say that." Kanda's mother said and for a moment it seemed she was defending him, "He's not high class enough for Shimabara, nobody would pay to be with _him_. He's worthless" She sneered. Kurosawa nodded thoughtfully, before smirking.

"That's not completely true Soya, I like to give credit where credit is due. If it weren't for him your husband would still be alive." Kanda snarled at the man and Mugen vibrated with him reminding how alive Innocence was. Together they lunged forward and Mugen cut hungrily at the man, as though the lack of constant battle had left the blade starved for violence. Kanda could hear his mother's shriek which masked his brother's almost silent gasp, but mostly he could hear Kurosawa's pained groan and the squelch of Mugen leaving the man. As he bent to clean the blade on the man's clothes he sneered,

"Credit where credit is due Kurosawa? You turned me into a murderer, thank you for aiding in your death." Kanda stood and sheathed Mugen impassively. He looked down at this mother as she clutched at the dieing man and she glanced up in fear.

"Are you going to kill me too?" She whispered, and Kanda's laugh had a bitter edge.

"Somebody has to take care of Nao." With that he turned and left, even his quite steps deafening in the damp silence of the house. He was almost out when he felt a hesitant hand on his arm.

"Where will you go?" He looked back at his little brother.

"To China, I have a friend there, and it gives me somewhere to wait for my precious person to return to me."

"How do you know they'll come back?" The younger boy whispered.

"Because he always does."

---

_Kanda Yu was _not _waiting for Lavi. He was not staying up late into the night counting how many damn petals he could see waiting for a red haired idiot to come home in one semi-complete piece. Certainly not. He was up this late because he felt like it, it just _happened_ that Lavi was returning to the Order after a mission that had lasted nearly two months. _

_It was snowing outside, not the light fluffy snow that __Lenalee use to drag him out into when they were little, but sheets of frozen rain that piled thick on the ground in half frozen white piles. Kanda could see the shadow of where it built up on his window, held in defiance of the gravity by an angry wind. Even through the thick stone walls the cold seeped in and he tried not to be thankful to Lenalee for bringing hot tea and telling him that Lavi's golem had entered wireless range. _

_From down the hall he could hear heavy wet foot steps, but he pretended to ignore them. He folded himself into a meditative pose and shut his eyes just as the heavy door to his room was shoved open. He could hear a steady dripping of melting slush. _

"_Yu-chan! I'm home!" The other tried to sound cheerful and annoying, but Kanda could hear the exhausted strain. _

"_Tch, you're dripping on my floor, you stupid rabbit." He said without turning around. He could hear the other shift and with out pausing Kanda had Mugen's bared blade threatening the other man. _

"_If you hug me dressed like that I will kill you." Lavi blinked before smirking._

"_If you want me to strip, you just have to say so Yu-chan." Lavi was met with a sharp "tch" and smack on the top of his head curtsey of Mugen's sheath._

"_You're so _violent._" But he had already started working his way out of his wet clothes, each garment making a damp plop against the stone floor. Kanda watched him with carefully narrowed eyes, checking for any obvious wounds, though if asked he would insist that he was making sure the idiot rabbit wasn't getting his wet cloth on the wooden furniture. When the other was finally stripped naked and shivering Kanda lowered his sword and put it aside._

_Lavi stepped forward and Kanda put his hands up to trace his fingers across the yellowing bruise on the other's jaw down the ugly half healed gash on his ribs and along the edge of the violent purple mark on his hip. Neither spoke, knowing that words would only lead to insincerity in the face of such an honest display of emotion. Satisfied Lavi was no more damaged then normal Kanda leaned forward kissed him wrapping warm arms around the frozen man. Lavi tugged at Kanda's shirt and when it was gone he pressed his frozen body against Kanda. Together they sank into the bed tugging the blankets around them. _

"_You're late." Yu accused softly, allowing human emotion to show in the secrecy of a shared bed. _

"_But I always come back to my Yu-chan." _

---

It was strange, being alone and it was making Lavi skittish. For as long as he could remember he'd always been surrounded by people. In the early years of his life with the Bookmen it had been the long nursery then the dormitory. Even when he'd been given his own room there had been people all around all the time. Then the long years with the old panda and the brief nights in Yu's arms. He'd certainly never had to watch his own back, and he wasn't sure how Yu managed it all the time.

He knew that the Kanda family home was in Kyoto, that's where he headed to find his Yu. But once he arrived in the city he was quickly lost among it's winding streets. Japaneses was not his best language, as he had never taken a record in Japan, but he knew enough to ask if anyone knew where Kanda lived. The emotional responses he got were varied, but none were positive and he chose to ignored them.

Eventually he came to an old house and found it to very different from the home he imaged for Yu. The house carried a silent air of defeat and passive acceptance. He was paused before the gate to the court yard when he saw two people approaching him on the otherwise empty street. One look at the woman and he knew that these were the people he was looking for.

"Who are you and why are standing outside my house?" The woman snapped, and it was obvious where Yu had gotten his bad temper.

"I'm looking for Kanda Yu." Lavi watched the boy's eyes grow wide in horror and the woman sneer.

"That person is not welcome here and if you are a friend of his neither are you." She snapped, stepping past Lavi.

"Do you know where he is?"

"If there is any justice in the world he's dead in a ditch somewhere. Come on Nao." And with that the woman disappeared into sad house. The boy bit his lip clearly nervous and took a step towards the door before turning back to Lavi.

"Are you his precious person?" Lavi blinked.

"What?"

"Yu's person person, is that who you are?" Apparently curtness was a common trait in the Kanda family and Lavi nodded slowly.

"What would you do if you found out he was... different?" Lavi looked at the boy carefully.

"There is nothing that could make me not love Yu."

"Even if it was something that would make people think he was freak and not human? It made Mother hate him." Lavi frowned slightly.

"I have given up everything to love your brother, even if he turned out to be an Akuma I would still love him."

"My brother is not a monster from Edo!" The boy snapped and for a moment the anger flashing in eyes made him look like Yu.

"Nao! Get in here!" A voice called from in the house.

"Coming Mother!" The boy hollower back, before turning desperately to Lavi.

"Promise you love him?" And Lavi nodded.

"Then he's gone to China. He said he'd wait for you." And then boy was gone, disappearing into the dieing house.

---

_Lavi ran his fingers threw Yu's hair, he'd once asked how he kept it so soft and had been, predictably, smacked. Lavi smiled softly at the sleeping form. _

"_Oh my violent Yu-chan." The room was dark and cold and Lavi could hear the storm that still raged out side, but the bed they shared was warm. _

"_Why do you always wait for me?" Kanda murmured something in his sleep that sound a good deal like "stupid rabbit." Lavi smiled and managed to awkwardly press his lips to Yu's. _

"_I love you too." _

_--_-

China, Kanda had decided, had no business being so large. At the very least the Lees had no business living so far from the Asian branch and up in the mountains. When he finally made it had expected to be greeted by Lenalee or Koumi, or if he was unlucky something that belonged to Koumi. However the person that greeted him was someone he had thought he'd never see again.

"_Moyashi?!_" He tried to sound as disgusted as he possible could, but even he could hear that he just sounded tried. "What are you doing here?" That was better, he'd sounded appropriately waspish.

"I'm staying here, as you pointed it out, I don't have many other places to go." Allen snapped back, "What are _you_ doing here? I thought you were going home."

"I changed my mind. Now get out of the way or I will cut you. I didn't come up here to talk to _you_." Whatever Allen was going to say in response was drowned out by Lenalee calling to him.

"Allen who are you talking to?" As she came into view of the door and spotted Kanda she looked like she was going to throw herself at him, but thankfully managed to restrain herself. Then suddenly her eyes grew wide.

"You're not in Kyoto." It was almost a whisper. Kanda glared between her and Allen and she didn't finish her thought.

"Allen go tell my brother that Kanda is here." Allen looked at her suspiciously, but did as she asked. As soon as he was gone Lenalee turned to Kanda and ask very bluntly,

"Did you kill him?"

"Yes." He said shortly and she motioned for him to come inside.

"I wasn't sure if you would do it." She said softly as the walked down the hall and he shrugged.

"How long will you stay here?" She asked and again he shrugged.

"Soon, I'm not interested in spending an extend amount of time this far from civilization with Moyashi and your brother's inventions."

"Well you're welcome to stay as long as you like." They walked in silence till they reached a door.

"You got a letter from Lavi." She said suddenly.

"What did it say?" He asked sharply and now it was her turn to shrug.

"I don't know it wasn't my letter. I'll go get it, you can go in and see Koumi." There was a loud bang from inside the room and a yelp that sounded decidedly like Allen. The pair looked at the door where purplish smoke was curling out.

"Or you could leave them be." She motioned for Kanada to follow her. "I had to hide it because my brother and Allen kept trying to read it." They entered Lenalee's room and she pulled a heavy piece of parchment from under the mattress. Despite his desire to snatch the letter and rip it open Kanda forced himself to remain disinterested. He glared at Lenalee when she gave him a small knowing smile.

The letter was written in Lavi's painfully neat, type-set handwriting.

_I'm currently headed towards Japan, but the probability of you being in China is equal as high. If you get this letter and I am not already with you please stay there. I'll search the whole world over for Yu-chan, but I'd rather not._

Kanda lowered the letter and met Lenalee's expectant stare.

"I guess I will be staying longer."

---

It had been nearly a month since Kanda first showed up at the Lees'. In that time he had reaffirmed his believes that Komui was insane and Allen was annoying. Even ignoring those facts, Kanda hated being at the peaceful house. He found the quite mountain home disquieting, there had never been a time that Kanda's life hadn't been centred around and driven by violence of some kind. There we snippets of peaceful moments, picnic with his mother before she knew about the lotus, a snow day imposed on him by Lenalee, and stolen nap with Lavi, but there had never been this gaping endless calm.

Exactly two months after Kanda had arrived it rained. This cause quite a bit of commotion as it turned out that one of Koumi's newest robots wasn't waterproof and it went on a destructive rampage. As he'd helped Allen to destroy the thing he'd seen the same stir craziness reflected in the boy's and wondered why the brat didn't just leave.

As the three month mark drew near Kanda found himself by the door, Lavi's letter weighing down his pocket with guilt.

"Where are you going?" Lenalee asked and Kanda flinched.

"Italy. I want to see if Tiedoll is still alive." Lenalee fixed him with an unimpressed look and he glared at her in response.

"Will you be coming back?" He wanted to say no, but knew it was a lie.

"Yes, as soon as possible." With that he stepped through the door with no indention of looking back. He'd barely made it across the threshold when something slammed into his chest. That something was now pinning his arms to his sides and kissing at every bit of him that was reachable with out releasing him. In disbelief Kanda pushed the person away from him.

"Lavi?" The red head smiled widely.

"Sorry Yu-chan, but you're in love with a failure." And, in a move that he would later claim was fuelled by temporary insanity, Kanda threw his arms around Lavi and kissed him. Somewhere in the background he was aware of Komui hollering about corrupting his innocent Lenalee, but Kanda ignore him he had more then a memory to hold on to now.

---

AN: Please forgive the wait, University is trying to eat my soul and without my persimmon I have suddenly developed "a life" which means I'm not longer allowed to spend my Friday evenings writing fanfiction. Also sorry about the OC-heaviness of the chapter, I hope they weren't hateful. Thank ya'll for reading.


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